Part 2: Expectations

I began this year with very few expectations, I didn't really know what to expect, so I embraced whatever came my way. Here are some realizations that came with this year:

1) How can you love someone you just me THIS much?! Sure I loved Griffin before he was born but the minute I really first saw him  he was hooked up to wires and machines and I fell so in love with him. The first picture of us is me in my bed touching his foot and crying, I ached because I couldn't hold him. He captured my heart that day, and every day since. I never thought I could love someone like I do him. Yes, I love many people in my life but there is something different about your love for your child.

2) What you think you will do as a parent isn't actually what you will do! I have learned that the ideal sometimes makes it hard to survive. My old ideals; i.e. "My baby will be able to self soothe early and I will just have to put him in his crib and he will fall asleep" HAHAHAHAHAHA! If I just put G in his crib it results in much screaming, alligator tears, and it would go for hours (we give up). I have learned that sleep wins, every time! I would much rather have a good night sleep and have a well rested baby, and so the three of us sleep together and G nurses when he needs food or comfort, and we are both happy people in the morning! He is now taking naps in the crib after I rock him to sleep, so there is a step in the right direction. Moral of the story pick what is important to you and fight for those things (for me breastfeeding was one) the rest will work itself out.

3) Judgements happen, I choose to laugh, and do my own thing! I have learned that there is a wide variety of "right" and other than abuse, not a whole lot of "wrong" when it comes to parenting. Breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, disposable diapering, etc. worked for us. However, breastfeeding isn't necessarily easy or great for others, some parents choose not to co-sleep, some people like space, and cloth diapering makes a lot of sense; to each his own. Every parent and every baby is different I think it is important to do what works for your family. I am sure you can find an "expert" who agrees with you :).

4) Life Changes! I love hearing people say that they will still live life in the same way when a baby arrives. I just don't know how to do that, and didn't really set out to try. Griffin changed EVERYTHING! I was more than okay with that. Going out in the evening is difficult, eating out almost impossible (although getting easier now), and sleeping when I want to not an option. Having a baby put our family in a different life stage and with it come adjustments. Instead we frequent mom and tot groups, hang out at home, have our living room covered in toys, and put our wants and needs after his. No regrets on the changes, I knew they were coming the moment I suspected we were pregnant! He is worth everything I had to give up, I wouldn't want it any other way!

A Wonderful, Beautiful, Exciting, Tiring, Love-Filled Year (Part 1)

I have started this post early, and then realized that it was going to be super long so over the next few days there will be a bunch of posts about my first year of being a mom. It really has been a year full of adventure!

I thought I might start with the things I couldn't have done without this year. I needed the right tools for the job, and although every baby and mommy is different these are my MUST HAVES:

1) BECO!! I still pull out my Beco Gemini Baby carrier at least two times a week (he sleeps in it/on me at Out and About). Seriously that thing changed my life when I first bought it. Yes, it was expensive but Dude HATED the snugili  we had, it was really worth every penny I paid for it. I have used it in the mall, grocery stores, when we are at gatherings... and even though he is 20-ish pounds I can still easily, and without discomfort carry him in a front carry(his favourite position).   As far as more expensive purchases I have to say this is one of the most used pieces of baby equipment I own (right up there with the car seat, which of course is a must-have).

2) Pump, yes breast pump. Those first six weeks of mommy-hood had me using this machine many, many times a day. We didn't buy said pump as it was hospital grade and I saw it on the website for $999.99! Instead we rented from a hole-in-the-wall pharmacy in Selkirk for much less (we bought certian pieces, but the actual pump was rented). If you have to pump on any kind of regular basis rent a hospital grade pump, it will save you time and energy.

3) People, in various forms and locations! It started with doctors and nurses who were amazing as complications at birth arose, so thankful for every decision that was made. The lactation consultant I saw in the hospital saved our breastfeeding relationship by giving me permission to do what I needed to do while giving me strategies to fight it out. My husband who got up in the middle of the nights, supported me in the struggles, and tried to give me breaks when I needed them. My mom who rescued us those first days with food, cleaning and support, and still gets phone calls from me asking advice. My sister who has been a wealth of information as we have hit every new stage. Friends with boys who have handed down clothes, we have hardly bought any clothes for dude, which has been awesome! Church ladies who brough dinner for us those first few weeks, And finally Mom's groups, who have provided a source of a social life for Dude and I over the last year, complete with yummy food, good visits, and some fun! 

Really those were my three biggest must-haves. Oh I had the swings, bouncy chairs, bouncer-roos, stroller, bassinet, change table, crib, toys, nursing pillow etc. but all of those things were extras, nice to have but not really necessary in the end. In fact Dude still spends his nights in our bed, and has only started napping in his crib in the last two months or so. Griffin's MUST HAVES included loving arms, food, clothes, and diapers, those he had without question!

Getting Stuck on Our Driveway is a Blessing!!

Yesterday was the first day I left Griffin for more than a couple of hours. A big step in our relationship and one that I was dreading! I spent the day at school and Jay stayed home for the day. I am so thankful Jay has some flexibility to help out as we make this transition, I felt better leaving him with Jay, he is daddy after all!

I figured it would be tough and knew that it is better to deal with this now instead of April 2nd when I am teaching, so we jumped in! I went to leave though and my car got stuck on our driveway, making me panicked that I was going to be late. Jay helped me get it more stuck, and then drove his car past my stuck one and let me take that. I was stressed because I was going to be late, and not happy about it, giving me zero time to worry/cry/think about leaving my precious baby boy! Seriously, how often can you say getting stuck is a blessing?? Yesterday it certianly was!

Although I did miss my boy a little during the day it could have been much worse. When I got home at 4pm my little boy was happy to see me but had a good day with dad! Jay had to leave him in the crib to help me in the morning and then later to get my car pulled out, but other than that there was little crying. Plus Jay actually got to participate in his work confrence call.  I was pretty impressed! Dude didn't drink much milk so we spent lots of time nursing last night, but he was happy. So good to know we will all survive this transition!

I am really excited to start my new job, and even more so now that I have spent a day there. I was reminded how much fun kids are and how much I love teaching. While these next weeks will be an adjustment the exitment of change will help me as I grieve the loss of days spent with Dude. After yesterday I have much more confidence that Dude will adjust (although it will take time) to daycare and his new routine. Plus in three months I will be at home again on summer break!!

Growing Up is Hard To Do!

My little boy (who is asleep in his crib right now) is creeping closer and closer to his first birthday. He is growing up crazy fast. Every day he learns something new, he has already taken his first steps, and practices walking and falling all day long. At 10 months he keeps me busy!

Next week all this growing up will be a hard pill to swallow (for me maybe more than him). I plan to spend a good chunk of the day at school on Monday. Jay is staying home with the Dude and I am sure they will have fun together. I, however, will be adjusting to not having my days filled with laughter, songs, and love. Thursday we go to daycare for an introduction, and Friday he will spend a few hours there alone!! Not sure if I feel more worried for him or the staff! All of this is to help him transition to daycare full time by April 2nd. He loves other kids and I am hoping that this will help distract him, but I also know that it is rough for him to be away from me for long periods of time (okay maybe it is rough for me to be away from him for long periods of time)! I know that once he adjusts we will be okay, I just know it is going to take time. As I was organizing all this the other day I actually almost cried on the phone with daycare and certainly cried on the phone with Jay. If I was queen for a day Maternity leave would be paid for 5 years and I would be staying home! But I am not, and I am excited about my job, but oh how my heart hurts to be leaving Dude!

BLEH!

So lately Dude has been asserting his independence and letting us know his likes and dislikes. It happens in everything: the back arch/throw back is a common occurrence when he wants up, down, or another parent, he whines when we aren't doing what he wants or when the book is over and he wants another story, but my oh my is it clearly evident in his eating! Dude was an AWESOME puree eater, he loved everything I made and spooned into his mouth, veggies, meat, fruit, beans, etc. were all hits! These days he won't let us feed him (the odd time I can be successful with a fork and spoon but not often), he needs to use his fingers to eat or he won't be eating. I could deal with it, the mess doesn't really bother me, and is pretty simple to clean up with a cloth or paper towel. However, these days he is getting more and more picky when it comes to WHAT he is eating, and this is driving me a bit crazy. Green Beans, blueberries, bananas, cheese, cream cheese, peas, carrots, corn, melon, seem to be on the "like" list, notice any type of meat is not on the list, and beans (like kidney) aren't there either. He will sometimes eat wraps and real oatmeal, but other grains are iffy. I have tried mixing tiny bits of chicken in cheese, tried a number of kids of meat, and trick him by stuffing the meat into his mouth as he tries to put something else in.
He drops the food he doesn't want onto the floor or "hoards" it in his chair so: HOW DO I GET HIM TO EAT MEAT?!

This Blessed Life I Lead!

Things have finally calmed down and we are taking an easy day at home. It has been a whirlwind around here! January always seems like a busy month, within 10 days we have 3 birthdays to celebrate (Ash, me, and Joel). So on the weekend of the 21st we headed into the city. Jay had a curling bonspiel to coach at so I hung out with the family. Mom, Ash, the three kids, and I headed to the Children's museum; Mika got a ton of exercise as she ran around, got soaked at the water table, and explored, the little ones rode along.

We came home and enjoyed a quiet week, with my usual Out and About days and cleaning and prepping for company on the weekend. I thought the company was my sister-in-law, brother and nieces; however on Friday morning  a loud thumping knock at my door woke me up. Standing there was my husband and Megan (my old roommate/friend) from Calgary. My husband had flown her (she now lives in Vancouver) out for the weekend for my birthday! Such a fun surprise. It was nice to catch up with her, plus my little boy loved her! There were plenty of people involved in keep the secret and it was so much fun to be surprised!

On that Sunday we drove Megan to the airport and stayed in the city so Jay could go to meetings on Monday and for him to fly to Ottawa for a conference. A week without Jay made me realize why parenting is a two person game!! I was thankful for my mom's help one night as my little guy screamed. On Wednesday I had the privilege of hanging out with G and my two nieces (23 months and 7 months). After we figured out how to get everyone happy, and full we had a good, albeit busy, day as Joel and Ash started the moving into their new place process.

G and I rushed back home Wednesday night. The original plan had been to stay in the city until Jay came home on Thursday but that changed when I got called for an interview (read that last word again folks). I applied to the public school in Arborg and had an interview to go to. For the first time I left G with a babysitter (okay second, but I was in the same building the first time) and went to my interview (yes, G cried the majority of the time I was gone). The tears from him, and my nervous days leading up to the interview paid off as I was offered and accepted the position :) !! As of April 2nd (the same date as I was previously scheduled to go back to work) I will be teaching a Grade 5/6 class at Arborg Early Middle Years school. It is scary to be changing jobs, and even more so because this is only a term until June but changing schools is something that is really good for our family right now.  Hopefully I will be able to find something come September!

So many blessings: My husband, my friend Megan, my family, my Little Man, and my new job; for these I am grateful!

Nine Months!

Griffin has now lived out of my belly basically as long as he lived inside of it! Crazy! In so many ways it seems so much longer, and yet in other ways it was only yesterday that he entered our lives.He is growing and changing daily, just like he should be, and has a bunch of skills that make him seems like a little kid instead of a baby.

• He is crawling. He started belly/army crawling at 7 months, and knee crawling at 8, he is everywhere now! Baby gates and shut doors keep him contained but the house is his playground.
• He pulls himself up to standing with the help of something he thinks is solid. This includes couches, chairs, tables, and our pants/legs. He has just started to walk along furniture... he is slow and tentative, but I know that won't last long!
• He is a great eater, although lately he is asserting his independence and wanting to feed himself. He can't use a spoon yet but can certainly use his fingers; beans, cream cheese, soft/cooked fruit and veggies, puffs, mum-mums, etc. If he has something on his tray he will happily eat whatever I have on the spoon. As far as what he will eat the answer is EVERYTHING! He likes pretty much everything we have offered him, from the traditional sweet potatoes and apples to mango, navy beans, and lentils he will gobble up it all.



"I can't really use this spoon, but I can try!"



"This is the first time I pulled myself up, don't I look proud1"

• He is still a shy baby; he prefers mommy or daddy over others; although lately he has been willing to visit and play with other moms at Out and About, and when well rested and fed happy to visit others if mom or dad is within eye sight. When hungry, tired, or needy mommy,and sometimes daddy are WAY better options. 

"Just when mom thinks I am a big boy I fall asleep on her lap and she puts me on the floor like this, I never let her do it again!"

It has been a wonderful 9 months, I can't wait for the next nine and all the changes that will happen, but for now I will head to bed, where Griffin is already sleeping and ready to be cuddled, gotta love my job!