This week I have been celebrating success! With this specific success comes extra time in my day, and freedom!
Griffin has not liked to nurse since day one. There seems to be five factors in a baby refusing to nurse, and he was subjected to 4 of them, the lactation consultant wasn't surprised by his refusal. He would scream and scream when I tried to nurse him. We left the hospital with a plan to finger feed and keep trying to nurse. Finger feeding lasted three weeks, until he hit a growth spurt and we just couldn't do it. I kept pumping so that he could get the good stuff, but we did have to supplement with formula. The bottles came out and I kept trying to nurse. They told me it might take 6 to 8 weeks for him to latch on.
This week I laid the gauntlet down, this was going to happen! On Monday he screamed and screamed each time I tried, but each time he figured out food was avialable and nursed. I figured I could deal with the screaming, I wasn't sure what Jay would think, but he wasn't home :). Tuesday less screaming and no bottles at all! By Wednesday he had this thing figured out. Seriously the switched turned on and I now have a nursing baby! He knows exactly what to do and does it happily!
I have felt like throwing myself a party because of this development! I feel like I have won this battle, at least for now. He is happy and content, and I am thrilled that I am not attached to my pump six times a day. I can go out and if he is hungry, I can feed him. Freedom and time, great rewards!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Six Weeks!
Time has flown by but I can’t imagine my life without my Little Bear. He has me wrapped around his little finger, and has barely left my sight in 6 weeks. He sure has grown and changed in these 6 weeks, literally! I weighed him last weeks, and although he was dressed, he weighed 11 lbs 13 oz., that is three pounds more than last month!! Of course he is growing in other ways too, he is much more alert and interactive. We can get smiles from him, and he loves to “kick and flail”, he coo’s, he is getting into a routine that is somewhat predictable, and his neck muscles are getting much stronger. His biggest goal lately is to get is thumb in his mouth. The other day we were sleeping together in the rocking chair, when I woke up he was sucking away on his thumb, ever since he has kept trying, without luck. He just can’t figure out he needs to extend his thumb, his whole fist ends up in his mouth instead.
Our biggest struggle since coming home has been his eating, clearly he is getting enough, but not the way I want him too. Nursing is not his favourite activity. We finger fed for three weeks, but he was hungry and couldn’t get enough fast enough, so we gave in and began to use a bottle. I haven’t given up, in fact just yesterday he only nursed, no bottle, and today so far it has been the same. Of course now I wonder if he is getting enough... I like to know he is doing well, I felt the same when he came off the monitors in the NICU. What I have realized is how much extra time I have if I don’t have to pump, I guess I lose a step, and wow, right now he is sleeping and I am not pumping, but have eaten breakfast! I won’t be nursing in any place other than my living room for a while yert. If you didn’t know me you would think I am murdering my baby as I work to get him to latch, there is a lot of screaming, in a minute or two he realizes that food is available and eats and eats... silly boy!
We spent a weekend at my parents two weeks ago. He did pretty good away from home, but boy was he tired when we got back on Sunday afternoon. He did meet his Great Grandparents (Jay’s grandpa, and my grandma), and had his first cousin sleepover (Mika slept at my parents one night). He is now battling his first cold, his stuffy nose makes me sad, but he is not really complaining too much, he is sleeping more and like to get extra cuddles. He is enjoying being the youngest in the family but we are all waiting for the arrival of my neice or nehew. Ashley is due any time now, and Joel gets home tonight. I am looking forward to one more family memeber!
I have really loved this stage of mommyhood more than I thought I would. I already dread going back to work, I can’t imagine not spending all day with him!
Griffin and his Great-Grandma
Our biggest struggle since coming home has been his eating, clearly he is getting enough, but not the way I want him too. Nursing is not his favourite activity. We finger fed for three weeks, but he was hungry and couldn’t get enough fast enough, so we gave in and began to use a bottle. I haven’t given up, in fact just yesterday he only nursed, no bottle, and today so far it has been the same. Of course now I wonder if he is getting enough... I like to know he is doing well, I felt the same when he came off the monitors in the NICU. What I have realized is how much extra time I have if I don’t have to pump, I guess I lose a step, and wow, right now he is sleeping and I am not pumping, but have eaten breakfast! I won’t be nursing in any place other than my living room for a while yert. If you didn’t know me you would think I am murdering my baby as I work to get him to latch, there is a lot of screaming, in a minute or two he realizes that food is available and eats and eats... silly boy!
We spent a weekend at my parents two weeks ago. He did pretty good away from home, but boy was he tired when we got back on Sunday afternoon. He did meet his Great Grandparents (Jay’s grandpa, and my grandma), and had his first cousin sleepover (Mika slept at my parents one night). He is now battling his first cold, his stuffy nose makes me sad, but he is not really complaining too much, he is sleeping more and like to get extra cuddles. He is enjoying being the youngest in the family but we are all waiting for the arrival of my neice or nehew. Ashley is due any time now, and Joel gets home tonight. I am looking forward to one more family memeber!
I have really loved this stage of mommyhood more than I thought I would. I already dread going back to work, I can’t imagine not spending all day with him!
Griffin and his Great-Grandma
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Pictures
Today my friend Shelia came over to take pictures of our little family. We had yet to get a picture of the three of us, so it was about time, plus we wanted pictures of our Little Man before he changes too much. I love so many of the pics, but seeing as I am one dial-up I will only post a couple of them.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Life With My Little Man
It is hard to believe I have had over two weeks with my Little Man! In some ways it has flown by, but it also seems like eons ago that we were in the NICU. We are settling into a nice little routine; it goes like this: sleep, poop, change diaper, eat, watch mommy pump, sleep. I keep telling Griffin that we could speed up the process if he would just eat from the source, but other than a few short attempts yesterday latching is not happening! So we finger feed, it takes time, but I am told that most babies will latch on in 6-8 weeks if we stick to the plan. I am super determined to get him to latch, but for now he is getting mostly breast milk, in the evening he never stops eating and I can’t keep up to him so he gets some formula then.
Other than his eating issue Griffin is a great baby! He rarely cries, and when he does it is because mommy or daddy just aren’t quick enough getting his next meal. He is a night owl (total opposite of his mommy), he starts eating around 5pm and usually doesn’t stop until midnight (or later). Then he sleeps for 5 or 6 hours and wakes up around 6:30, yup my two week old gives us 5 or 6 hours of solid sleep! Now that I have written this I am sure it will come to an end! During the day he eats every three hours or so. He is most happy when he is in someone’s arms, and I love loving him to sleep. As the days have gone on he has gotten much more active with his arms and legs, and stares at faces for hours.
I am loving my new job as mommy. I love spending hours with Griffin in my arms, I love feeding him, changing his diaper, and basically loving him. My c-section recovery has been super easy, and pain free. In fact I am convinced that it has been easier than it would have been if I got the birth I wanted. I am super thankful that this is the case, it has given me the chance to enjoy every moment with Griffin!
Other than his eating issue Griffin is a great baby! He rarely cries, and when he does it is because mommy or daddy just aren’t quick enough getting his next meal. He is a night owl (total opposite of his mommy), he starts eating around 5pm and usually doesn’t stop until midnight (or later). Then he sleeps for 5 or 6 hours and wakes up around 6:30, yup my two week old gives us 5 or 6 hours of solid sleep! Now that I have written this I am sure it will come to an end! During the day he eats every three hours or so. He is most happy when he is in someone’s arms, and I love loving him to sleep. As the days have gone on he has gotten much more active with his arms and legs, and stares at faces for hours.
I am loving my new job as mommy. I love spending hours with Griffin in my arms, I love feeding him, changing his diaper, and basically loving him. My c-section recovery has been super easy, and pain free. In fact I am convinced that it has been easier than it would have been if I got the birth I wanted. I am super thankful that this is the case, it has given me the chance to enjoy every moment with Griffin!
Monday, May 2, 2011
For I Know the Plans I have For You...
Declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Griffin Allan entered the world at 12:35am on Sunday, April 24th (Easter Sunday), not according to our plans, but according to His! We like to think of him as our Easter Miracle
On Saturday we went in for a non-stress test to make sure all was well. It was great, and Griffin looked really happy in the womb (even though he had spent an extra two weeks in there). The doctor figured we might as well start the induction a day early seeing as we were already there. They started with cervidil and things got under way. Jay and I walked and walked around the Selkirk hospital parking lot, and finally when I went to have a nap around 2:30pm the contractions started. This was a good sign right?! I ate dinner and then got hooked up to the monitors. My contractions were super close together, without much time in between them, I am sure full blown labour is worse, but these ones hurt, and neither Griffin nor I had time to rest between them. The doctor pulled the cervidil around 6:30pm, she figured the contractions needed to find a normal pattern and that this would help. It didn’t they continued to come one on top of the other, and I was uncomfortable and Griffin’s heart, although okay was not recovering fast enough. At about 10:00pm Griffin’s heart rate took a nose dive (into the 60’s) and the doctor advised us to make the trip to St. Boniface Hospital.
By 11pm I was being loaded onto the ambulance and Jay was heading for his car to make the trip to the city. The nurse that I had all day in Selkirk joined me and I was so grateful for the company and conversation to keep my mind off what was happening. Little did I know how difficult this trip was for Jay, who was by himself and running over all the possible outcomes of this. When we arrived at the hospital I was whisked into a delivery room and checked over by nurses and a doctor. By now my contractions had slowed down, so I figured that we might wait until the next day to figure this out, but then Griffin’s heart rate dropped again, and it was time to get him out! The last doctor decided to break my water to get things moving, with hook in hand he examined me and found the umbilical cord below Griffin’s head. Clearly breaking my water was not an option. Before Jay even arrived at the hospital it was made clear that a C-section was absolutely necessary! Jay got tied up in admitting and I didn’t want to sign or start anything without him, when he finally got to me I filled him in, we signed the forms, and we were taken down the hall where he put on scrubs, and I went to the operating room. Within an hour of arriving at St. B. Griffin was born, a little blue, and with a lot of fluid in his lungs. I did see him very briefly, his eyes were open, I fell in love! He was then whisked away to NICU, with Jay following close behind him.
I was wheeled into recovery, and after throwing up once felt pretty good (at least physically). It was certainly scary to not know what was happening with Griffin. Jay came up to update me and let me know that Griffin was getting admitted to the NICU, and again when he got kicked out so they could attach him to machines. It certainly was not easy to be stuck in bed as all this was going on, but I was thankful for the nurses and doctors and all the work they were doing. Besides the breathing issues, Griffin appeared to have some sort of infection, his blood counts were pretty low. So while Jay was with me they put Griffin on a CPAP machine and oxygen for his breathing, and hooked him up to an IV for fluids and antibiotics. After half an hour Jay was able to go back to be with him, and finally my legs were moving and the effects of the epidural was wearing off the nurses wheeled my bed into the NICU so I could see him. It was so hard to see him but not be able to hold him, I touched his foot. I was wheeled up to the maternity floor to “settle” in for the night, and told Jay to go to my parents to sleep, we couldn’t do anything in the hospital and we were looking rough around the edges.
I must say that night was terrible, I was in the room with two other women, and their babies. One was a teenager who was less than thrilled to have to feed her baby. I did get an hour or two of broken sleep, but at 6:30 the nurse found be bawling in bed. I so badly wanted to know Griffin was okay, or at least would be okay, I wanted him in my arms. She did go get an update for me, but the only change was that the x-ray showed something (fluid, infection???) in his lungs, we already knew that was the case. He had remained stable through the night.
At 8:30am my parents walked through the door. I had talked to mom as I went in for my c-section but Jay told them the whole story when he got home. It was good to have them there. Jay arrived not long after, by 11am we were allowed to go to the NICU. I finally held Griffin, almost 12 hours after his birth. He was still hooked up to all his machines but his stats looked great. After my turn Jay had his, and as he held him the doctors took him off the CPAP. His stats remained high, and he was able to breathe on his own. His infection was still a concern, but things were improving.
During that day we spent as much time as possible with Griffin in the NICU, between Jay, and his parents and I he got lots of cuddles. We worked on feeding issues but he was given bottles in order to meet his nutrition needs. My parents got to meet him, but not hold him that evening. At the 8pm feeding we talked with the doctor and were told it was possible that he might be moved upstairs that night! We were thrilled with the idea, but scared to have him not on monitors and such. By about 11pm he was in a bassinet at the end of my bed (okay his bassinet was there, he was in our arms). It was so good to have him with us. Of course this was day two and Jay and I had two hours of sleep each in the 36 hours. We were both exhausted! Jay spent the night, even catching an hour or two of sleep on the floor.
I find it a touch ironic that my last post was about plans, seeing as by the end of this we referred to the word plan as a four letter word. Nothing went to plan, at least not my plan! If I had gone into labour at home (plan a) we certainly would have lost Griffin, there was no way I could have reached the hospital in time and the cord would have prolapsed. If plan b would have worked out it is likely that the outcome would have been the same as plan a. Selkirk doesn’t have the resources to deal with a situation like that. Clearly Plan C was God’s Plan A! Looking back and at the “what-ifs” is much scarier than anything that actually happened. In fact I think I was pretty calm as the plans were being blown apart. God clearly worked through each situation as it arose, and each decision that needed to be made was made correctly. Even though our plan didn’t work out, the outcome was more that we could have hoped for!
In the end there was no infection, and after 48 hours Griffin was wireless and normal looking (other than the bruise on his hand and foot). We spent three nights in the hospital and came home on Wednesday. In all reality Griffin is a amazingly content baby, he likes to be held, and cuddled, and loved on, and I don’t mind at all. He cries only when hungry, but we often have to wake him in order to feed him every three hours. He feeds for hours on end in the evening and the last two nights has let mommy and daddy sleep for 4-5 hours at a time. We continue to deal with feeding issues, another thing not going to plan, but he is gaining weight and thriving, mommy just has to work hard. We are loving this new stage in our lives!
Pictures to follow!
Griffin Allan entered the world at 12:35am on Sunday, April 24th (Easter Sunday), not according to our plans, but according to His! We like to think of him as our Easter Miracle
On Saturday we went in for a non-stress test to make sure all was well. It was great, and Griffin looked really happy in the womb (even though he had spent an extra two weeks in there). The doctor figured we might as well start the induction a day early seeing as we were already there. They started with cervidil and things got under way. Jay and I walked and walked around the Selkirk hospital parking lot, and finally when I went to have a nap around 2:30pm the contractions started. This was a good sign right?! I ate dinner and then got hooked up to the monitors. My contractions were super close together, without much time in between them, I am sure full blown labour is worse, but these ones hurt, and neither Griffin nor I had time to rest between them. The doctor pulled the cervidil around 6:30pm, she figured the contractions needed to find a normal pattern and that this would help. It didn’t they continued to come one on top of the other, and I was uncomfortable and Griffin’s heart, although okay was not recovering fast enough. At about 10:00pm Griffin’s heart rate took a nose dive (into the 60’s) and the doctor advised us to make the trip to St. Boniface Hospital.
By 11pm I was being loaded onto the ambulance and Jay was heading for his car to make the trip to the city. The nurse that I had all day in Selkirk joined me and I was so grateful for the company and conversation to keep my mind off what was happening. Little did I know how difficult this trip was for Jay, who was by himself and running over all the possible outcomes of this. When we arrived at the hospital I was whisked into a delivery room and checked over by nurses and a doctor. By now my contractions had slowed down, so I figured that we might wait until the next day to figure this out, but then Griffin’s heart rate dropped again, and it was time to get him out! The last doctor decided to break my water to get things moving, with hook in hand he examined me and found the umbilical cord below Griffin’s head. Clearly breaking my water was not an option. Before Jay even arrived at the hospital it was made clear that a C-section was absolutely necessary! Jay got tied up in admitting and I didn’t want to sign or start anything without him, when he finally got to me I filled him in, we signed the forms, and we were taken down the hall where he put on scrubs, and I went to the operating room. Within an hour of arriving at St. B. Griffin was born, a little blue, and with a lot of fluid in his lungs. I did see him very briefly, his eyes were open, I fell in love! He was then whisked away to NICU, with Jay following close behind him.
I was wheeled into recovery, and after throwing up once felt pretty good (at least physically). It was certainly scary to not know what was happening with Griffin. Jay came up to update me and let me know that Griffin was getting admitted to the NICU, and again when he got kicked out so they could attach him to machines. It certainly was not easy to be stuck in bed as all this was going on, but I was thankful for the nurses and doctors and all the work they were doing. Besides the breathing issues, Griffin appeared to have some sort of infection, his blood counts were pretty low. So while Jay was with me they put Griffin on a CPAP machine and oxygen for his breathing, and hooked him up to an IV for fluids and antibiotics. After half an hour Jay was able to go back to be with him, and finally my legs were moving and the effects of the epidural was wearing off the nurses wheeled my bed into the NICU so I could see him. It was so hard to see him but not be able to hold him, I touched his foot. I was wheeled up to the maternity floor to “settle” in for the night, and told Jay to go to my parents to sleep, we couldn’t do anything in the hospital and we were looking rough around the edges.
I must say that night was terrible, I was in the room with two other women, and their babies. One was a teenager who was less than thrilled to have to feed her baby. I did get an hour or two of broken sleep, but at 6:30 the nurse found be bawling in bed. I so badly wanted to know Griffin was okay, or at least would be okay, I wanted him in my arms. She did go get an update for me, but the only change was that the x-ray showed something (fluid, infection???) in his lungs, we already knew that was the case. He had remained stable through the night.
At 8:30am my parents walked through the door. I had talked to mom as I went in for my c-section but Jay told them the whole story when he got home. It was good to have them there. Jay arrived not long after, by 11am we were allowed to go to the NICU. I finally held Griffin, almost 12 hours after his birth. He was still hooked up to all his machines but his stats looked great. After my turn Jay had his, and as he held him the doctors took him off the CPAP. His stats remained high, and he was able to breathe on his own. His infection was still a concern, but things were improving.
During that day we spent as much time as possible with Griffin in the NICU, between Jay, and his parents and I he got lots of cuddles. We worked on feeding issues but he was given bottles in order to meet his nutrition needs. My parents got to meet him, but not hold him that evening. At the 8pm feeding we talked with the doctor and were told it was possible that he might be moved upstairs that night! We were thrilled with the idea, but scared to have him not on monitors and such. By about 11pm he was in a bassinet at the end of my bed (okay his bassinet was there, he was in our arms). It was so good to have him with us. Of course this was day two and Jay and I had two hours of sleep each in the 36 hours. We were both exhausted! Jay spent the night, even catching an hour or two of sleep on the floor.
I find it a touch ironic that my last post was about plans, seeing as by the end of this we referred to the word plan as a four letter word. Nothing went to plan, at least not my plan! If I had gone into labour at home (plan a) we certainly would have lost Griffin, there was no way I could have reached the hospital in time and the cord would have prolapsed. If plan b would have worked out it is likely that the outcome would have been the same as plan a. Selkirk doesn’t have the resources to deal with a situation like that. Clearly Plan C was God’s Plan A! Looking back and at the “what-ifs” is much scarier than anything that actually happened. In fact I think I was pretty calm as the plans were being blown apart. God clearly worked through each situation as it arose, and each decision that needed to be made was made correctly. Even though our plan didn’t work out, the outcome was more that we could have hoped for!
In the end there was no infection, and after 48 hours Griffin was wireless and normal looking (other than the bruise on his hand and foot). We spent three nights in the hospital and came home on Wednesday. In all reality Griffin is a amazingly content baby, he likes to be held, and cuddled, and loved on, and I don’t mind at all. He cries only when hungry, but we often have to wake him in order to feed him every three hours. He feeds for hours on end in the evening and the last two nights has let mommy and daddy sleep for 4-5 hours at a time. We continue to deal with feeding issues, another thing not going to plan, but he is gaining weight and thriving, mommy just has to work hard. We are loving this new stage in our lives!
Pictures to follow!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Still Waiting...
So I am not really a patient person, I like plans, and I like when they go accordingly... Maybe God is trying to teach me patience before this little one comes! Although my due date was changed to the 14th a couple of months ago I have focused on the 10th for this whole pregnancy, which means I am now almost two weeks overdue... two weeks of waiting to meet this little one... waiting, waiting, waiting. This is just reinforcing my guess of boy, he probably won't leave the nest until he is 30!
Now we have another plan (and we have since Monday)... one that I dreaded this entire pregnancy, but at this point I am okay with it. As much as I don't want to be induced it is time for this little one to make an apperance, although the doctor keeps wondering if he/she is not so little! So unless Baby Boaz decides to join us in the outside world before Sunday an eviction will take place! We have a non-stress test on Saturday to make sure everything is good, and then we will head back to the hospital on Sunday for the start of the eviction, if we are lucky Sunday will be enough and we won't need more interventions on Monday. Either way this baby has a deadline to enter this world.
So we continue to wait, but are able to plan... maybe this baby is working with his/her mommy, I do like plans!
Now we have another plan (and we have since Monday)... one that I dreaded this entire pregnancy, but at this point I am okay with it. As much as I don't want to be induced it is time for this little one to make an apperance, although the doctor keeps wondering if he/she is not so little! So unless Baby Boaz decides to join us in the outside world before Sunday an eviction will take place! We have a non-stress test on Saturday to make sure everything is good, and then we will head back to the hospital on Sunday for the start of the eviction, if we are lucky Sunday will be enough and we won't need more interventions on Monday. Either way this baby has a deadline to enter this world.
So we continue to wait, but are able to plan... maybe this baby is working with his/her mommy, I do like plans!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Playing the Waiting Game
Remember when you were 6 and it was Christmas Eve, there were big boxes under the tree with YOUR name on them, you couldn't sleep you were just so excited? I remember those evenings/nights as special, and fun... but I knew that the next morning was Christmas and that I would be unwrapping the presents as soon as breakfast was finished. Nice memory!
Now picture this I am 29, and I am as huge as huge can be. I am in the 40th week of pregnancy and really want to meet our son or daughter. I would love to sleep but am uber uncomfortable in any position and spend my evenings tossing and turning. Unlike those presents under the tree I have not peeked (or unwrapped) the present yet and am dying to find out if I am right and we are having a boy or if I have been calling our little girl 'he' for the last 20 or so weeks. Of course the worst of it is that I have no idea when I will get to open this present and I am pretty sure it won't be as easy as pulling off the wrapping paper!
I so want to just meet this little one! Pregnancy has been fun, but it is time for it to be over!
I guess I am getting closer, only because I can't be getting any further away!!
Now picture this I am 29, and I am as huge as huge can be. I am in the 40th week of pregnancy and really want to meet our son or daughter. I would love to sleep but am uber uncomfortable in any position and spend my evenings tossing and turning. Unlike those presents under the tree I have not peeked (or unwrapped) the present yet and am dying to find out if I am right and we are having a boy or if I have been calling our little girl 'he' for the last 20 or so weeks. Of course the worst of it is that I have no idea when I will get to open this present and I am pretty sure it won't be as easy as pulling off the wrapping paper!
I so want to just meet this little one! Pregnancy has been fun, but it is time for it to be over!
I guess I am getting closer, only because I can't be getting any further away!!
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