Final Thoughts (Part 5)

I have enjoyed my time at home with Griffin so much. He has filled my days with patty cake, laughter, and lots of love. He has given me time to practice patience, taught me that not everything is easy, but it is worth fighting for, and helped me learn to become a mommy. It has been a joy to see him become a little person, complete with a personality. He makes me laugh all the time with his funny antics, he is impish and stubborn, easy to make laugh, and a cuddle bug when sleepy. He is independent, and loves to do things for himself (like eating) but wants his mom around to feel secure. He is fearless, adventurous and trusts his mom and dad to catch him when he falls. Although I don't want it to happen too quickly I look forward to seeing what Griffin becomes as he grows up; we have wishes and dreams for him, but most importantly we want him to grow up to be a kind, generous, happy, God-loving little man!

Firsts!

Being at home means I got to witness most of the "firsts" for my baby boy. We watched with great anticipation as Dude nursed all day (that was glorious), rolled over, sat without support, ate his first food, sat himself up, army crawled, got his first tooth, crawled for real, fed himself, pulled himself to stand, and took his first steps. Every first is so exciting! We look and him today and see a little boy and not a baby, he has grown and changed so much in this first year. We have celebrated each first, but I have come to realize that he could have slowed down just a bit! It was certainly easier when he would stay were we put him! I am so thankful that I have been witness to such great achievements, seriously it takes lots of trying to learn how to roll over! Realizing that he has already done so much makes me a little sad, time flies so quickly, it won't be long until he is learning to drive!

The Good and The Bad (Part 3)

Worst Part of Mommy-Hood in Year One
Not all parts of mommy-hood are roses and sunshine. Not matter who you are there will be tough days mixed in with the glorious ones. If I am being real we had our rough days, and I am sure we will have more. The days Dude hangs off me, not letting me go more than two inches away from his cute little hands, when I am an all day milking machine; those days are tough, for both of us. Sure I know he must be teething, or tired, or insecure about something and so I hold him tight, and allow him to nurse most of the day, but oh how I would love to have a moment to myself. I think God made babies so cute and parents love so strong to help us get through these days!One wonderful thing I learned is that usually these days don't happen back to back, so while one day might be rough the next probably won't be!

Best Part of Mommy-Hood in Year One
I was so amazed at how quickly my little boy knew who I was. Even as a tiny infant he knew his momma, and was often happiest in my arms. Now as he approaches his first birthday I have to admit it makes me secretly happy that when he is hurt/scared/hungry/sad he wants his mommy most of all! I love that he needs me (because secretly I need him to need me!). I was also glad he bonded with Jay so quickly. In fact, the good thing that came from all the breastfeeding challenges was that Jay got to feed Dude in the early days. Not only did that help me out, but they had some great daddy-son moments.

 Love really was the theme of the year, as I fell in love with Dude on his first day of life I realized life would never be the same, our house would be full of this new, crazy, unending love for this little boy. Maybe being a parent gives you more perspective on how God loves all of us, there is nothing like it!

Part 2: Expectations

I began this year with very few expectations, I didn't really know what to expect, so I embraced whatever came my way. Here are some realizations that came with this year:

1) How can you love someone you just me THIS much?! Sure I loved Griffin before he was born but the minute I really first saw him  he was hooked up to wires and machines and I fell so in love with him. The first picture of us is me in my bed touching his foot and crying, I ached because I couldn't hold him. He captured my heart that day, and every day since. I never thought I could love someone like I do him. Yes, I love many people in my life but there is something different about your love for your child.

2) What you think you will do as a parent isn't actually what you will do! I have learned that the ideal sometimes makes it hard to survive. My old ideals; i.e. "My baby will be able to self soothe early and I will just have to put him in his crib and he will fall asleep" HAHAHAHAHAHA! If I just put G in his crib it results in much screaming, alligator tears, and it would go for hours (we give up). I have learned that sleep wins, every time! I would much rather have a good night sleep and have a well rested baby, and so the three of us sleep together and G nurses when he needs food or comfort, and we are both happy people in the morning! He is now taking naps in the crib after I rock him to sleep, so there is a step in the right direction. Moral of the story pick what is important to you and fight for those things (for me breastfeeding was one) the rest will work itself out.

3) Judgements happen, I choose to laugh, and do my own thing! I have learned that there is a wide variety of "right" and other than abuse, not a whole lot of "wrong" when it comes to parenting. Breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, disposable diapering, etc. worked for us. However, breastfeeding isn't necessarily easy or great for others, some parents choose not to co-sleep, some people like space, and cloth diapering makes a lot of sense; to each his own. Every parent and every baby is different I think it is important to do what works for your family. I am sure you can find an "expert" who agrees with you :).

4) Life Changes! I love hearing people say that they will still live life in the same way when a baby arrives. I just don't know how to do that, and didn't really set out to try. Griffin changed EVERYTHING! I was more than okay with that. Going out in the evening is difficult, eating out almost impossible (although getting easier now), and sleeping when I want to not an option. Having a baby put our family in a different life stage and with it come adjustments. Instead we frequent mom and tot groups, hang out at home, have our living room covered in toys, and put our wants and needs after his. No regrets on the changes, I knew they were coming the moment I suspected we were pregnant! He is worth everything I had to give up, I wouldn't want it any other way!

A Wonderful, Beautiful, Exciting, Tiring, Love-Filled Year (Part 1)

I have started this post early, and then realized that it was going to be super long so over the next few days there will be a bunch of posts about my first year of being a mom. It really has been a year full of adventure!

I thought I might start with the things I couldn't have done without this year. I needed the right tools for the job, and although every baby and mommy is different these are my MUST HAVES:

1) BECO!! I still pull out my Beco Gemini Baby carrier at least two times a week (he sleeps in it/on me at Out and About). Seriously that thing changed my life when I first bought it. Yes, it was expensive but Dude HATED the snugili  we had, it was really worth every penny I paid for it. I have used it in the mall, grocery stores, when we are at gatherings... and even though he is 20-ish pounds I can still easily, and without discomfort carry him in a front carry(his favourite position).   As far as more expensive purchases I have to say this is one of the most used pieces of baby equipment I own (right up there with the car seat, which of course is a must-have).

2) Pump, yes breast pump. Those first six weeks of mommy-hood had me using this machine many, many times a day. We didn't buy said pump as it was hospital grade and I saw it on the website for $999.99! Instead we rented from a hole-in-the-wall pharmacy in Selkirk for much less (we bought certian pieces, but the actual pump was rented). If you have to pump on any kind of regular basis rent a hospital grade pump, it will save you time and energy.

3) People, in various forms and locations! It started with doctors and nurses who were amazing as complications at birth arose, so thankful for every decision that was made. The lactation consultant I saw in the hospital saved our breastfeeding relationship by giving me permission to do what I needed to do while giving me strategies to fight it out. My husband who got up in the middle of the nights, supported me in the struggles, and tried to give me breaks when I needed them. My mom who rescued us those first days with food, cleaning and support, and still gets phone calls from me asking advice. My sister who has been a wealth of information as we have hit every new stage. Friends with boys who have handed down clothes, we have hardly bought any clothes for dude, which has been awesome! Church ladies who brough dinner for us those first few weeks, And finally Mom's groups, who have provided a source of a social life for Dude and I over the last year, complete with yummy food, good visits, and some fun! 

Really those were my three biggest must-haves. Oh I had the swings, bouncy chairs, bouncer-roos, stroller, bassinet, change table, crib, toys, nursing pillow etc. but all of those things were extras, nice to have but not really necessary in the end. In fact Dude still spends his nights in our bed, and has only started napping in his crib in the last two months or so. Griffin's MUST HAVES included loving arms, food, clothes, and diapers, those he had without question!