For I Know the Plans I have For You...

Declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Griffin Allan entered the world at 12:35am on Sunday, April 24th (Easter Sunday), not according to our plans, but according to His! We like to think of him as our Easter Miracle

On Saturday we went in for a non-stress test to make sure all was well. It was great, and Griffin looked really happy in the womb (even though he had spent an extra two weeks in there). The doctor figured we might as well start the induction a day early seeing as we were already there. They started with cervidil and things got under way. Jay and I walked and walked around the Selkirk hospital parking lot, and finally when I went to have a nap around 2:30pm the contractions started. This was a good sign right?! I ate dinner and then got hooked up to the monitors. My contractions were super close together, without much time in between them, I am sure full blown labour is worse, but these ones hurt, and neither Griffin nor I had time to rest between them. The doctor pulled the cervidil around 6:30pm, she figured the contractions needed to find a normal pattern and that this would help. It didn’t they continued to come one on top of the other, and I was uncomfortable and Griffin’s heart, although okay was not recovering fast enough. At about 10:00pm Griffin’s heart rate took a nose dive (into the 60’s) and the doctor advised us to make the trip to St. Boniface Hospital.

By 11pm I was being loaded onto the ambulance and Jay was heading for his car to make the trip to the city. The nurse that I had all day in Selkirk joined me and I was so grateful for the company and conversation to keep my mind off what was happening. Little did I know how difficult this trip was for Jay, who was by himself and running over all the possible outcomes of this. When we arrived at the hospital I was whisked into a delivery room and checked over by nurses and a doctor. By now my contractions had slowed down, so I figured that we might wait until the next day to figure this out, but then Griffin’s heart rate dropped again, and it was time to get him out! The last doctor decided to break my water to get things moving, with hook in hand he examined me and found the umbilical cord below Griffin’s head. Clearly breaking my water was not an option. Before Jay even arrived at the hospital it was made clear that a C-section was absolutely necessary! Jay got tied up in admitting and I didn’t want to sign or start anything without him, when he finally got to me I filled him in, we signed the forms, and we were taken down the hall where he put on scrubs, and I went to the operating room. Within an hour of arriving at St. B. Griffin was born, a little blue, and with a lot of fluid in his lungs. I did see him very briefly, his eyes were open, I fell in love! He was then whisked away to NICU, with Jay following close behind him.

I was wheeled into recovery, and after throwing up once felt pretty good (at least physically). It was certainly scary to not know what was happening with Griffin. Jay came up to update me and let me know that Griffin was getting admitted to the NICU, and again when he got kicked out so they could attach him to machines. It certainly was not easy to be stuck in bed as all this was going on, but I was thankful for the nurses and doctors and all the work they were doing. Besides the breathing issues, Griffin appeared to have some sort of infection, his blood counts were pretty low. So while Jay was with me they put Griffin on a CPAP machine and oxygen for his breathing, and hooked him up to an IV for fluids and antibiotics. After half an hour Jay was able to go back to be with him, and finally my legs were moving and the effects of the epidural was wearing off the nurses wheeled my bed into the NICU so I could see him. It was so hard to see him but not be able to hold him, I touched his foot. I was wheeled up to the maternity floor to “settle” in for the night, and told Jay to go to my parents to sleep, we couldn’t do anything in the hospital and we were looking rough around the edges.

I must say that night was terrible, I was in the room with two other women, and their babies. One was a teenager who was less than thrilled to have to feed her baby. I did get an hour or two of broken sleep, but at 6:30 the nurse found be bawling in bed. I so badly wanted to know Griffin was okay, or at least would be okay, I wanted him in my arms. She did go get an update for me, but the only change was that the x-ray showed something (fluid, infection???) in his lungs, we already knew that was the case. He had remained stable through the night.

At 8:30am my parents walked through the door. I had talked to mom as I went in for my c-section but Jay told them the whole story when he got home. It was good to have them there. Jay arrived not long after, by 11am we were allowed to go to the NICU. I finally held Griffin, almost 12 hours after his birth. He was still hooked up to all his machines but his stats looked great. After my turn Jay had his, and as he held him the doctors took him off the CPAP. His stats remained high, and he was able to breathe on his own. His infection was still a concern, but things were improving.
During that day we spent as much time as possible with Griffin in the NICU, between Jay, and his parents and I he got lots of cuddles. We worked on feeding issues but he was given bottles in order to meet his nutrition needs. My parents got to meet him, but not hold him that evening. At the 8pm feeding we talked with the doctor and were told it was possible that he might be moved upstairs that night! We were thrilled with the idea, but scared to have him not on monitors and such. By about 11pm he was in a bassinet at the end of my bed (okay his bassinet was there, he was in our arms). It was so good to have him with us. Of course this was day two and Jay and I had two hours of sleep each in the 36 hours. We were both exhausted! Jay spent the night, even catching an hour or two of sleep on the floor.

I find it a touch ironic that my last post was about plans, seeing as by the end of this we referred to the word plan as a four letter word. Nothing went to plan, at least not my plan! If I had gone into labour at home (plan a) we certainly would have lost Griffin, there was no way I could have reached the hospital in time and the cord would have prolapsed. If plan b would have worked out it is likely that the outcome would have been the same as plan a. Selkirk doesn’t have the resources to deal with a situation like that. Clearly Plan C was God’s Plan A! Looking back and at the “what-ifs” is much scarier than anything that actually happened. In fact I think I was pretty calm as the plans were being blown apart. God clearly worked through each situation as it arose, and each decision that needed to be made was made correctly. Even though our plan didn’t work out, the outcome was more that we could have hoped for!

In the end there was no infection, and after 48 hours Griffin was wireless and normal looking (other than the bruise on his hand and foot). We spent three nights in the hospital and came home on Wednesday. In all reality Griffin is a amazingly content baby, he likes to be held, and cuddled, and loved on, and I don’t mind at all. He cries only when hungry, but we often have to wake him in order to feed him every three hours. He feeds for hours on end in the evening and the last two nights has let mommy and daddy sleep for 4-5 hours at a time. We continue to deal with feeding issues, another thing not going to plan, but he is gaining weight and thriving, mommy just has to work hard. We are loving this new stage in our lives!

Pictures to follow!